Words From My Heart: July 2012

I was born in a small town in the mid west state back some 40 some years ago ,I will not bore you with every detail here ,I was raised in a home with a dear loving Dad who work hard in his life first as man who served his country by joining the Navy where he built many things from his hands ,I guess this where I get this from ,where in my family there were a long line of carpenters here My Dad had a big family of with 4 brothers and 3 sisters with his parents who raised them on a dairy farm across the mid west with love the shared to each other and he passed on to me and my brothers and sisters ..My mom was such a sweet caring woman who love us all so much and she brought much happiness in my life in the love she gave me and my brothers and sisters She had much sadness also in her life when she was young ,though her mother was very sweet and loving her dad showed little love all I remember of him was a grouchy man who had a cane and rarely smiled .My mom found my Dad when she visit his one sister one time and Dad was home on leave in the Navy and it was love at first sight!!

My mom married my Dad and had beautiful life with each other till one day she found her self confronted with something so terrible where some cruel person took fit to rape my mom,witch was hard on her so much ,this hurts me talking about this but I need to ,I know it hurt mom and my Dad who never talk about it ,I think it happen before I was born .and it hurts knowing you had to go through this and I had two brothers,one older and younger then me who died at a very young age .Tommy was the older one who died at 2months old and Timmy who died at 2 days ,I think of them often wandering what the be like and if they are proud who I became .I hope they know I love them both and I know they are in heaven with God now .

My mom and Dad lived in the State of Illinois and the southern part of Wisconsin ,where they farm on a small dairy farm and my Dad did carpenter work ,I guess this where I get my passion for working and when I was a small little boy they had to move to the state of Arizona because my sister Ruth had a heart problem and doctor told them the dry climate would help her witch it did with some surgery that she had and the medication she had to take stunted her growth where.she is only little over 4 feet tall,but It did not effect her loving nature in her and I love her so much,we have great fun together. I lived there 16 years with my family where we had it rough with the way money .My Dad had to work out of town for work he work in construction and could not come home every night and we only saw him on the weekends .This was sad and lonely for me and my family and I know it was for Dad and after many years doing this he tired of this way and came back and and work as his own boss ,witch he loved to build and help others . I was so happy to have him back with us all the time ,I wanted to be just like him ,he was my hero in all he did for us!I remember one year around Christmas time on eve we went to my Grandparents house who lived close by us ,my Dads parents who I loved so much !We had our Christmas eve dinner and having fun and I do not know how he did it but when we came home in front of our tree there was so many gifts there you could hardly see our tree and I was young as my brother and sisters and our eyes were with look of surprise and happiness and we thought Santa came early to us and We having much fum and years later I knew then it was my Dad and what he and Mom gave up to make this happen for us and I love him for this and all he did to keep us fed and keep us in a home that was with love in always ! I was shy little boy who did not have many friends who feared in being laugh at and the ones I thought were my friends laugh at me for as I got older I got a little over weight in my life

I soon learned to deal my shyness by way of reading that happen one day when my family gave me as a gift some comic books that I thought was so wonderful and took me to places where I was not made fun of in life and it help me to be a little more open with people and I did make friends with some who did not mind my weight and made me feel better about my self ,and about my life .I was going through school with my grades not being great but I had some great teaches who help me a lot one in my early years of school was my 4th Grade teacher help me in my math so much,where I had a hard time with something and after a couple days of helping me and he did have way of a drill Sergent in the marines and he might been I am not sure and he help me buy saying you can do it and this meant so much to me !looking back now MR. Herbert help me where I would not be where I am today with out him in life .We all have people that touch us ,even in briefest moments and change us forever and I know I am better for those I met and made me a better man .Days through school came and went ,where I did what all little boys did in life went to school and play and one day when I was age 15 my Dad said he was tired of fighting the hustles life in the dry state of Arizona and said we were moving back to the mid west where things are so beautiful .We were all a little surprise in this and I was happy because I been here for so long and welcome a new way of life I seen only in books .We started out on our new adventure in life,with my sister Mary not wanting to move with us but after some discussion she agree to come with us where my Grand ma and grandpa help us move because of the many things we had from our home for so long but we welcome it and on our way to Wisconsin we stop at many new places we seen ,but at this time we had no camera as today I always take one with me for you can never tell when a shot of lifetime comes your way ,we came close on our way here in Wisconsin to Mount Rushmore but could not get close to it because of the moving Van we had with our belongings in it .We drove through the black hills in South Dakota that was sol beautiful and my Dad decided he move close his brother Jerry who lived in mid part of the state and we lived with him for 2 weeks while my Dad found our home where we are at now .Here are few pictures one of my home and one of my family who I love so much !

This was such a beautiful House after living in the city for so long,I love all I see in the country side and cherish what we have together .The house needed a lot a work done on it ,witch was no problem for my Dad who is a carpenter and I help him all I could.We started on making new stairs leading to 2 nd floor witch the old ones were so narrow it was hard getting things there it was in the fall of 1980 when we moved here and school already started and we need to sign up ,witch I did not like to much but wanted see what was out there and I was nervous going to school here after all I did not know anyone here and as the time came for school it was after the first bell rang and school was underway and I got all my classes figure out I was so nervous here and as I walk in my first class I seen everyone was looking at me and trying get me figure out as I do not remember what I said at first but ,I try to fit in and as the day went by I starting talking to others as the talk to me to get know me ,there were many who said hi and few other small talk and there was some who was talking to me for awhile and a small handful that I got close to as friends ,they were nice to me even though i was over weight and seen what I had in my heart and not what I look like .It was hard for me to find my way in the school and got miss guided to my classes but after time It became easy in this ,I took a class for driving witch I did not mind ,though it was hard for me because my Dad only had one truck witch was stick shift and not growing up on a farm was hard for me to learned and he need it for his work so it took me many years after getting out of school before I got my license ,witch made it hard for me with my friends who got theirs ,though they did not make fun of me for it I knew they thought it was odd I did not have one .As I got older It took up activities in school like working on our class musical in school as a stage hand because of my love for building things and now looking back after finding karaoke I would not be afraid to try out a part in as actor ,there things in our lives we all regret not doing ,so go for it all you can do because you never know the blessings it will give you .When I got in my Junior and senior year of high School I went out for Track and field ,where tried out for at first the shot put witch I was not that good at the suggestion of my coach who said I should try for the mile run w itch I did .I know this was shock at first to my mom and dad but I wanted to try this and I know there was those in school thought it was funny see a fat kid run around a track .I still remember my first race that was on a smaller in door track and it was 12times around it and I started out and soon everyone else was passing me and I was getting so tired but would not give up and my other friends after finishing cheered me on not to give up witch I did not and my legs felt lie rubber .I never won any of my races and my Track coach told me if I work on my races and got my time down to under 7 minutes he allowed me to letter for track and I work hard at it practice every day by lifting weights and running around the town about 5 miles witch I seen my self getting better stronger and I did not get so tired when I ran and one time at a race at a place called River Falls there was a race I will never forget .I started out and others soon pass me by and as the race went by I seen others gather around the track and was starting to cheer for me telling I could do this and keep going witch I did and as I got around for the final lap I could hear them still cheering and as I went by to the finish and afterward I seen by my time someone was keeping for me that it was my best ever !I will never forget this !

I went on through track this year and was able to letter then and also in my Senior year of school and then in my Senior year I also was involve with our high school musical as a stage hand for lighting and other things that involve this ,witch I love doing .My Senior year days went by fast and I got my grades better witch meant I could graduate High school and I never had a girlfriend in school ,there was one I had a crush on who was real nice to me but could not get her to go out with me ,I tried a couple of times but she said no and I was kinda shy here and now looking back I see she was not for me in my life because I found my dearest angel and true love who I love deeply in my heart forever !I will not go in to details at this time ,

School was hard but rewarding for I learned things about my self I did not know about me ,I went through my days learning my works there yet felt I was missing something there and it was hard for me on the dating aspect I was shy and guess I was afraid if they said no to me or laugh at me as I was laugh at for way I look at times in my life ,but I made it through fine and did have friends but none really close to and when the time to Graduate ,I had a great moment where my Sister Ruth who went to school in a town not too far from where I did the schools said since her graduation was the same day said she could do it with me and this was so beautiful to share with her and our Grandparents was able to come in from Arizona to make it truly wonderful .

This was such beautiful day with my family that I will never forget . After my graduation I went to work for my Dad and Uncle Jerry in construction work ,where I love working with my Dad this was most beautiful of all in life ,where I work with him with him for 18 years where I learned so much from him.He taught me much in my work and in the values of life and in honest work and to always keep your love ones in your heart !This was wonderful being along my Dad in life in work ,he is my hero always in all he does ,one day we working on a job in the town of Bloomer and he been coughing what we thought was bad cold and it was taking a hold on him where we thought he just needed rest witch was on a Friday and he still felt bad and on a Sunday he was coughing so much and all of sudden he passed out and we got so worried by this and called for help and thank God they came quickly ,but he came out of it before the ambulance arrived and the still took him to the hospital and they were not sure what was wrong with him and thought at first thought it was Typhoid fever witch was known to produce symptoms like this and was little infectious on this and luckily it was not and then the doctor came and told me and my Uncle Jerry something that change me in hearing this and what it was they spotted a spot on one of his lungs that look like cancer and he had collapse lung . Dad had to go through 8 treatments of Chemo Therapy that was so hard on him ,because they knock you down feeling good ,he would do the treatment that was rough and just when he felt better after time went by he had to go back for another and it effected his taste buds now certain foods taste sour to him now when he tries to eat it but it he gets by and after the 8 treatments he had to have surgery because they removed his collapse lung worry there might be some cancer behind it ,but thank God there was not and the doctor said afterwards that it went well witch I was so thankful for ,I love him so much and he had check ups once a year for few years and as of 2010 his last check up they said it looks real good and he never have to come back and he been cancer free for 11 years to date and we are bless to have him with us yet !

I was working steady with my Dad and Uncle since I got out of school and as I got paid for my work I was able to buy things I wanted and I eventually was able to buy a computer and a year later was able to get on the Internet.I met so many different people all over the world who all were so kind and caring .Then as time went by I met my one love in life on My Space where I know it was not luck that drew me to her sight it was love we shared ,and We became friends at first ,who we shared many things about life and as I was going through life with my work in life sadness came again for me and my family my Mom who I love so much was having trouble in standing up by herself and walking and we took her see a specialist and they finally confirm she had the horrible illness of Ms that effects your nerves and it progress as time goes by and they said she had it for quite sometime and this really hurt to hear this about someone you love so much !This really hurt us all and took a told on my Brother and Dad who took care of her more with me working because after my Dad's cancer he had to retire and hey did their best with her and we finally got some home care for her where they come in check her out see if she was healthy and help bath her every other day and even with this it got too hard for us and regretfully we had to place her in a nursing home witch she was only in there for two months and I think it took some of he memory for at times she did not who my Dad and brother were at times and one Friday morning we got a call from home saying she got a flu because others were sick there and she was really bad and my brother and Dad went there to see because I could not go my sister was at work and had be there to tell her and time they got home saying the doctors could not do anything for her my parents had it there would be no drugs in their will to prolong life ,witch I respect this so they would not suffer .and they weekend was worst for she kept declining they gave her something to ease her pain as her time came and on Sunday all of us went to see her and her time was close,we spent all morning with her talking to her and saying we love her and my Dad knew it would happen soon and did not want us to see this we went home and hour later we got the call saying she went away peacefully .This was so rough for us and my Dad this only time I seen him cry and this hurt me so much .

The days follow were rough as it is when anyone you know pass away ,we did not have a funeral ,just a small gathering of friends and family that came and gave their respect witch help so much ,it felt so sad not seeing her there with us and talking to her and I wander if she knows how much I loved her a hope she proud of what I became in my life .She love being outside and we laid her to rest on my property with flowers because she love them so much she lives with us in our hearts and every time I see a bloom in her flower bed I know she is smiling for it and made it look beautiful as she is always in heart !

It was hard for us not having mom with us anymore and as time went by it did get a easier for us but we have the loss feeling of her not being here witch I guess you never get over .My work went by day after day with no real direction to follow and I was feeling unsure in life and loneliness I felt to have no one to talk to or confide in then my life change for the better as I met the most sweetest ,caring loving woman in the whole world !We met on MY Space where I seen beauty of her heart in what she wrote on there and I requested her to be a friend on there and before long she accepted it and I left her some kind remarks and then she left me some back and this really touch me because she was so kind and caring and saw me as what I had in me not in how I look ,though I was trying change this by eating better and exercising more.We became quite close and was sharing things of life that meant so much tome and we became good friends .She was a writer as I had other friends across the world who wrote and their words touch me so much and shown the beauty of life out their .I was meeting many people all over who was so kind and caring to all they touch and I was happy to be with them and was busy in my work then life came in a shown me there was sadness in it once again My Grandpa died in 1997 before my Mom did of after going through with prostate cancer and he was in remission we thought but it came back but they said his heart gave out on him witch hurt so much because we all love him dearly! He was the kindest caring man I knew as my Dad is in life ,I remember all the summers he and Grandma came for visits ,we would go fishing .I like this it was time spend with them and he had so much fun and saw such beauty where we fish,though I rarely caught any witch did not matter because I was with them and this was priceless to me .My Grandparents lived with my aunt in Arizona and Grandma at least has my aunt after Grandpa passed away and I still miss him so much !My Grandma had few years more where she lived with her dog that made her happy I know she missed my Grandpa they were together for 55 years a love I know is so beautiful and true of heart ,I hope they are proud who I became in life .Grandma passed away a few years after my Mom died witch this still hurts me ,It seems like it just happen and We lite a candle every month for my mom for the love we hold for her always !After My Mom passed away and Grandma made see life a little differently in how we take people for granted until they are gone by telling them how much you love them in your heart and this is when I started trying my hand at writing from see my friends online who did this and with encouragement from dearest angel who I love I try it and seen blessing this gave me in my heart and she thought I was goo enough to have a book publish and said she was so proud of me witch meant so much to me that really touch me deeply in my heart ! I was working hard at my poems writing much as I could between my construction work and doing house chores and my writing and before long I was ready .My publisher sent me look at my cover witch look so beautiful and even sent me advance copy of it .This was so beautiful to see words I wrote down in a book something you pour your heart out in and means so much to me that others can see what I wrote that comes from my heart what means so much to me in my life and hope it help others see there is so much beauty in the world if one will only open their eyes to it witch my dearest love help me see what a beautiful life we are living .The more I am with my dearest love more I see the beauty of all life for when I am with her all is more beautiful to me and she help see there more to life then material things in the world when you have love in your heart is the most beautiful of all there is!We shared many beautiful moments together ,witch I will not say here for they are for us alone and our relation grows stronger day by day and I never regret they day we met and fell in love.One day I sent her a poem I wrote and she loved it and said this would make a great novel and I agree with her it would so,with I started writing one witch is going great and is one I am most proud of .I hope everyone loves this and many do not know what it takes to write a novel thinking of a plot and story to write about and get it put down in words and I give all who does my deepest respect in life!I been helping my dad who has been restoring an old tractor he has so we can use it to keep our property looking good and I just got done refinishing a old desk I use for my computer that I got from my Grandpa who this was given to him by a painter he knew who had someone working for him who painted it orange and black and I restored it to the beautiful natural oak finish.I also create crafts out of wood who do not know me real well ,I have a wood shop where I build Rocking horses and Rocking chairs and build furniture.The chairs and horses area design my grandpa created that I just added my own touch on them witch I will post pictures of and I been making trim for my house that is an older early American style home that had great looking trim in it that I replicate this in my shop witch I love doing ,to see if I can figure out how those who made it did witch is challenging but I love this so much !One of the pictures I post today will be last picture of my mom that was taken before she passed away .My life was busy of my construction witch moved me over many different small towns near where I live and I had my writing I was doing witch I loved and I spent much time was allowed with my love who I love being with ,it was love at first sight ,I never dated when I was in high school because I guess I was shy and I was little heavy and was afraid of being laugh at witch some did ,not to me of coarse but I could tell they did ,witch this hurt and I know in my heart none I met were who I was looking for and when I met my angel ,she was the sweetest most caring I ever met and she never laugh at me ,though I know it is not in her heart to do this !Angel always treated all she came in touch with a kind caring heart !I feel bless in my life since we met and we spent many nights talking of life and what see in our beautiful journey we are on together and I know she is my one true love !We share many beautiful moments since we met that I will not share ,for they are for only us .Me and my family always grow a garden that we love doing,there nothing like home grown vegetables and we freeze a lot for the winter months when money is tight because not a lot of work .I been helping my Dad on his tractor he been working on so we can get an attachment for it to keep our property mow from weeds ,witch it needed a lot done on it because who ever had it before my Dad got it did not take good care of it.Me and Dad finally got his new power take off part on it where this was missing on it and have a few other things to do on it and we are now looking for a mower for it so we can keep our property trim so it looks nice .I been taking many pictures trying top sell them of beauty I see around me where ,I have a web site I will post with a link where you can buy my pictures as downloads or as pictures .I been working on a old grainery building on my place that I want to restore looking as it did when it was built that I will post pictures of soon ,Me and my brother Tony use to raise pigs in it too until,the market went bad on them here ...To be continue

http://woodshopbynackeandnacke.webs.com/

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